4 Months ago I was living in an exclusive part of town in brand new luxury rented accommodation with my girlfriend of 9 years. I the IT Consultant, she the student opera singer, happy in our own little world no real plans for the future just getting by, partying the weeks away with our expendable income. Everyday I would go to work, an enjoyable place with lots of friendly people, no real prospects but never having a good place to work. Here I would see my best friend of 2 and half years who would sit next to me in our office and chat for hours on end about everything and nothing. We met on our first day at work and just clicked, as friends do, with no sexual appeal and no hidden agenda.
I could talk to my friend about any problems in my life and relationship knowing I would get the best advice possible, so when my then Girlfriend suddenly started giving me the cold shoulder for no apparent reason I asked for her advice. As was discussed as a possibility (and turned out to be true), my Girlfriend was having an affair with someone at work and 2 weeks later she left me. 9 years in a loving relationship and she sends me an email to tell me the news, how heartless is that? (More on this later)
In the past 4 months I changed jobs, changed address, changed my clothes, my hair and my whole lifestyle to try and wash it away and move on with my life, everyday thinking about the break-up. My best friend from work and I stayed in touch after I left and would do lots of things together on weekends to take my mind off it. We would go snowboarding, abseiling, canoing, partying, traveling and double dating and it was on one of our adventure weekends that my whole life would change direction again ..
We had always said that traveling to Europe would be a great way to clear my head and get away from it all, one Tuesday afternoon, we decided that we would take a van as our accommodation, get on a car ferry and travel across to France. On the Friday we left. We were in Brussels in no time and as it was getting dark we parked up the van in a side street. With a bottle of tequila and some sleeping bags in the back we chatted for hours about our plans, past relationships, how we met, the fun we have had over the last 4 months etc. when the conversation started to turn more sexual and before we knew it we were kissing and very soon after we were making love. It was great I remember thinking, my best friend, great sex, great trip but still, I was not in love with her and to me that was a big thing if we were going to take it further.
In the morning we talked and talked and although we were both single and probably really good for each other, decided it would probably be best to try it again, or even speak of it as it might ruin the friendship we had which was and is still more important.
Our trip around Europe ended as quickly as it had begun and before I knew it I was back in Work and life was back to normal and for once I was feeling great about it. In the weeks that followed, my best friend and I continued our great friendship and did everything together. My ex-girlfriend would often call me up and explain how sorry she was for what she had done and we met up once to talk about it, but by this stage I was moving on and had been given a promotion in my new work involved world travel so there was no chance of us getting back together at this stage and I was beginning to get myself together again.
It was on my way back from a trip to Singapore when things really changed in my life !!
My best friend had come to collect me from the airport and after talking about my trip and the exciting places I visited, I realized that things seemed disturbed and that there was an air of awkwardness surrounding us which I could not explain. It was not long before I found out why this was, she was 7 weeks pregnant with my baby from our little adventure in Europe!
Surprisingly I was absolutely fine … Then 10 hours then I freaked out big time and was I having conversations with myself about how I had just got me life together, my job was going brilliant, our friendship was great but nothing more than that friendship, I had to talk to someone but who now as the person I always went to was in this mess too?
We discussed our options and hours of tears and arguments later came to the conclusion that there was only one feasible thing to do.
This is where we are now, right or wrongly, we are going to have this baby and bring it up as best we can, as friends and nothing more. In the upcoming episodes I will take you through the ups and downs of our lives and try to help me cope with the whole experience and I appreciate any feedback you may have on the subject.
To be continued ….