Losing your best friend can often be harder than losing your partner. Is it not your best friend above all others who is there for you when times get tough? So what do you do when your best friend leaves you?
The hurt and loss of a best friend leaving can often be harder than you might think. Relationships with a partner end and we are in many ways not prepared for that. It might hurt like hell but it is par for the course. Friendships however are a completely different matter. We never expect that our closest confidante will up and leave us. It just is not conceivable. It does happen though.
Feelings you may experience:
It is completely normal to feel the above and you must feel them in order for the healing process to begin.
Understanding why your friend walked away is also key to healing.
Did they have a choice? Sometimes people are not as in control of their lives as they might like to be. Perhaps you are of the opposite sex to your friend and their partner became uncomfortable with the closeness. Few people believe that you can have a platonic relationship with the opposite sex.
Were they ever really a true friend or your best friend by circumstance? We tend to surround ourselves with acquaints rather than friends. I know people who, on Facebook for example, have 600+ friends. Forgive me but I do not believe that you can really know that number of people. By really know I mean, do you know how they like their coffee? What is their favorite meal? What makes them laugh or cry? It is the little details that makes them a true friend. Circumstance is more about a friendship of convenience. You're geographically well placed to be friends and in similar places in your lives.
Did you do something to make them walk away? Criticism and poor behavior if tolerated for an extended period will push even the closest friend away. It is my belief that if they are a true friend then they will come back after time and space has passed. A friendship of that magnitude is rare though.
How to pull yourself through to the other side:
- Remember your friendship fondly.
- Learn any lessons that the experience has given.
- Do not be afraid to start over again with an existing or new friend.
- Take time to heal but do not close yourself off.
- Forgive yourself and your friend for whatever caused the rift.
Time heals all wounds. You may never be rid of the scars but they will stop hurting as much ever.
Smile everyday, even if only once. You will feel brighter and as much as you do not want to smile right now, you will not feel so guilty when you do actually smile at something further down the road.
Two steps forward, no steps back.